32 • Refuge

William awoke not long after James, but remained in the bed with his gaze wandering the room. It was certainly a mixture of the eldest Bennet siblings, as he knew them, but his curiosity met new details. The walls were a soft, dull grey with white trim, but it was hardly a cold dwelling. Jane’s bonnets and hats hung from nails on the wall along with a dried out wreath, presumably made by James, on which hung all of her ribbons.

In the corner beside the window, was Jane’s white-painted vanity, upon which were her hairbrush, some pins, and a jar or two of cream. So too were pots of lavender and fresh sprouts William could not identify, as well as bundles of other plants tied and tagged with frayed ribbon and brown paper. A crimson jumper hung off the chair.

When he stood to read the notes pinned to the wall and table, William smiled.

Do not water!

Stop pinning needles in the wall, Lizzy!

You don’t read these otherwise!

I know to leave your plants alone, for goodness sake.

Out of lemon oil.

Then go get some! Make herb loaves with dinner.

Raking a hand through his hair and then using his fingers to push it back into appropriate place, William straightened the bedding before he noticed something underneath James’s pillow: a soft sachet of something that rustled when he squeezed. Holding it to his nose, William smelled the robust floral aroma of black tea. He peeked underneath Jane’s that he had used, and found a similar one with dried lemon rinds and earl grey.

William returned them both, donned his waistcoat, and began with his cravat before he thought differently and left it on the dresser. He sufficed with buttoning his shirt all the way up, and made his steps lighter once his boots were on.

Where the house had been a vessel of energy just hours before, it was now empty. He went to the kitchen, passing nobody on the way there, and found it likewise vacant. It was only the gentlest pricking of his ear that led him to the piano, where Mary was scribbling in her music books.

“It’s all right,” he held out a hand when she moved to rise and curtsy. “Where is everyone?”

“Kitty’s in her room, Jane and mama are outside, and Lizzy and papa are walking around. They should be back shortly. Lady Anne said she would be taking a rest at Netherfield.”

He nodded, “Thank you.”

Mary seemed to wait for him to say something more, but was otherwise at ease going back to her annotations. William made a note to ask Georgiana for her older music books—

“Actually, may I have the materials for a letter?”

She rose instantly to retrieve them from a desk in the room, and handed them over with, “There’s enough daylight for you to take it to Meryton, if need be.”

“I might do that, thank you.”

He left her to practice without distraction, instead writing his letter in one of the parlours with snippets of music behind him until he looked up and saw the Mr. Bennets through the window. Quickly adding a postscript, he folded the letter into the envelope before heading toward the kitchen door.

Father and son walked arm in arm through the garden, a weathered hand stroking his son’s as if he were unaware of it. Jamie’s hair was imperfect and untouched since he slept. William’s lips curved at the sight of it and how he kept his eyes downcast, trusting his father’s guidance.

Mr. Bennet’s eyes met his only a moment before the high-pitched call of Mrs. Bennet drew his attention further along the house. With a final pat on the hand, Mr. Bennet said something that lifted James’s gaze to find William’s, and they parted.

William shut the kitchen behind him and met James with the unsealed letter. “Can I bother you for a walk to Meryton? And I thought you might know of an herb or flower that would travel well.”

“Where is it going?” James turned toward the road with the same lethargy as he had strolled with his father.

“My sister.”

James perked up, and went to one of the various shrubs which had overgrown their fence. Clutching honeysuckle to his face, he announced, “They’ll probably stain the paper, but the smell will linger. The post can seal it when we get there…where is your cravat?”

“I left it behind.”

“It will be noticed.”

“Trade a jacket with a slouch and I think I will go quite undetected.”

“I’d think you were injured if I ever saw you slouching.”

William took his hand after James closed the paddock. “I’ve plenty of experience slouching. We won’t be long.”

The walk into town was comfortable and warm. James at one point looked up at the sky, inhaling deeply. “Smells like rain.”

“Does it?” William chimed softly.

“You don’t live close enough to London to not know what the weather and seasons smell like.”

“I suppose I never took the time to notice.”

Between the time of day and impending rainfall, the street of Meryton was almost empty. James caught the post door just before it closed and locked for the afternoon. The man stared only briefly at William’s stature, but otherwise was too eager to get home for any other observations.

“We should get a move on,” James urged, jogging back across the avenue while excited trees danced around them.

“There’s still time,” William soothed, but his stride matched James’ as they made their way back to Longbourn.

They ran into the house as the first drops thickened into a downpour. Jane met them with towels as well as the news, “Lady Anne’s joined us for dinner.”

“I’ll see to her,” William declared with a hand on James’ shoulder blade.

The Bennet siblings went together to the kitchen, the eldest commenting, “She is discrete, but I think she is waiting for a word with you.”

“Me?” James glanced at her before washing his hands.

“Of course, you. I don’t think she’s oblivious to your place in all this.”

“What do you want for dinner apart from the bread?”

“Lizzy, don’t ignore her.”

“I’m not,” he sighed haughtily. He planted the bases of his palms on the counter. “What am I supposed to say?”

“I don’t think you necessarily need to say anything,” she replied while handling various ingredients. “But you should hear her out. She snuck all the way here, after all.”

They both perked up at the boisterous sound of Charles’ laughter through the walls. James then noticed the various bundles on the counters. “Did he bring all this?”

“Yes,” Jane exhaled bashfully. “I cannot be ungrateful. We are not used to hosting such a number this many days in a row.”

“You knew going into this that he is the pushy sort.”

Jane blushed. “I did.”

Her brother sighed and began sorting through the items with her. “There are worst things to complain of than food.”

“I wonder why papa sent Hill away this time.”

“He knows I’d rather be in here than hosting.”

“That makes two of us,” the man himself entered. His children watched him open the battened door to the outside, where the torrential rain pushed a breeze into the room. “Well, hello.”

Alyss loudly announced her arrival, looking as disheveled and indignant as any feline might. She leapt onto the window seat and began cleaning herself while Mr. Bennet nursed a lemon tea Jane brought him. Various Bennets arrived to briefly help with dinner, and soon William resumed his seat at the counter.

Mr. Bennet chuckled. “I’m not sure how much of a refuge the kitchen is, if we all crowd into it.”

“Charles is far better meant for this than I am,” William admitted. Beyond, they could hear the various pieces of conversation and laughter between Charles, Kitty, and Mrs. Bennet. Mary was at her piano, adding to the overall merriment. William thanked Jane for the tea she poured him and began gazing around the room, cataloging every detail and action.

“Pies?” he noted as James poured meat, vegetables, and gravy into ramekins while Jane pinched dough over the tops.

She smiled, “Perfect for a rainy evening. Papa, the dough should be finished rising.”

Taking his cue, he washed his hands and kneaded the dough a final time while mixing in the herbs James had chopped. The kitchen was already fragrant with the herbs and stew they had cooked on the stove, but soon it was filled with baked yeast and sweet wheat, the butter sizzling over the pie tops.

William and the siblings carried the trays into the dining room, much to the happiness of everyone, and Mr. Bennet followed suit with the blueberry cake. Jane touched her fiancé’s shoulder before he sat. “Could you get the bread and butter on the counter?”

Charles did with gusto, and unashamedly reentered the dining room with a full cheek. Jane poked it with a buttered finger so he was shiny for the rest of the evening. Meanwhile, James directed Anne’s attention, “I was told yours should be without a crust, my lady.”

He placed her ramekin of gently bubbling stew before her and she smiled. “Thank you, James. Would you sit with me?”

Though surprised, he could not very well refuse, and sank into the chair beside her. He knew William was beside him from the brush of a hand on his knee, the sound of breaking bread, and the end of a loaf that appeared on his plate.

“So you cook?” she began. Anne stirred her stew while it cooled and thanked him for pouring her wine.

“I do. I am most comfortable on my feet.”

“It is such a vital yet artistic skill. When I follow this thread of thought, I feel quite useless.”

His head swiveled toward her. “Useless? You’re surely the most accomplished woman in our parish right now.”

She smiled with a mixture of irony and sadness. “But I cannot cook. I haven’t any idea what makes that delicious smelling icing,” she pointed to the cake. “And you may recall my mother voicing her disappointment regarding my musical pursuits.”

“As kindly as I can say, my lady, your mother would not let the wrath of god dissuade her from anything. You must not hold yourself or your illness by the same standard. I do not handle large livestock like my father can, so he put me in the garden. He liked me better covered in dirt instead of dung, anyhow.”

Anne’s giggles bubbled into full laughter, only interrupted by Mrs. Bennet’s commentary. “The number of times I’ve had to cut brambles out of this boy’s hair, you would not believe, your ladyship!”

“Whatever happened to the creature you rescued from our garden?” Anne recollected.

Kitty answered, “He’s in my room! He and our other cat, Alyss, tend to claw each other under closed doors, so they’re separated.”

“The siblings will sort themselves out eventually,” Mr. Bennet chuckled. “I, however, will at long last taste this cake.”

When it came James’s time to savour his piece, Charles, Jane, William, and Mary took his lead in giving Anne their blueberries and candied lemon rinds. “I can show you how they’re made,” he offered when she complimented the lemons. “They’re mama’s favourite.”

James did not realize what he had said until she whispered, “I’ve never been in a kitchen before.”

The table went rather quiet until Mrs. Bennet patted her hand. “Well we shan’t tell any body if you won’t.”

At this, a knocking was heard on the door. Charles stood, “That will be my carriage. Lady Anne, are you ready to depart?”

Everyone stood to bid her ladyship a good evening, and a sharp look from Jane ushered James to walk her to the door. He heard William’s soft steps behind him, and further along were Charles and Jane while Anne said, “Thank you so much for your hospitality, Mr. Bennet.”

His brows furrowed. “Are you leaving?”

She nodded. “If not tomorrow then within the next couple of days. Or else we will certainly see my mother here again. I know I caught you quite off guard with my being here, but I wanted to apologize to you directly.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, my lady,” he sighed. “It is my own standoffish behaviour that deserves reproach.”

“Then perhaps we may call it a truce,” she smiled with a look at her cousin. “It’s all rather humorous, really, the thinking that William and I would marry. I suppose cousins marry all the time, but I find the idea of wedding the man who has been my brother so peculiar. I think it would be audacious of me to contend with the person who can make him relax outside of his own home. I would be the despicable one.”

James blinked, never realizing he might have been under scrutiny. “Uh—well.”

Anne smiled. “I like Hertfordshire. There’s a pastoral elegance here that is hard to replicate. And your food is wonderful.”

James’ bashful face lowered to the floor as William stepped forward. “Surely a letter from your maid will suffice for a longer stay?”

Anne heaved a breath. “I cannot be certain. She waits for me at Netherfield like I might keel over without her beside me. I’m quite sure she’s already written to my physician to have him travel here soon.”

“Write to aunt and tell her Georgiana is arriving within the week.”

Anne’s eyes lifted with renewed interest. “Is she?”

William glanced at James. “There is a wedding to be had. She does not need to know when, and Georgiana can do no wrong in aunt’s eyes. If she is well cared for, this will give further merit for yourself. And Charles Bingley’s marriage will not be scoffed at with two Darcys and a de Bourgh in attendance.”

James blinked at him. “When did you become so devious?”

It was hard to believe Anne was as pale as she was with candlelight on her hopeful smile. “I’ll compose a letter this evening then, and have you look over it tomorrow? Are you remaining here for the night?”

William was caught by that, and looked to James with the same question. The latter said the first thing that came to him: “Three people can’t fit in a carriage if you’re one of them.”

Charles guffawed while William defended, “I am not as tall as people seem fit to give me credit.”

“Tall enough to stay, though,” Charles said with a wink to James as he moved past them to open the door. Two footmen opened umbrellas for he and Anne to walk under. He kissed Jane’s lips and announced, “I’ll speak with my staff about readying for your sister. And I’ll have them properly turnout your room, shall I? It looks like some force of nature had its way with your belongings. I’ll expect you for breakfast.”

William’s lips pressed together before he muttered a short acceptance. Jane was on her way up the stairs when she reminded, “Lizzy, the Lucases are expecting us on the morrow as well. They have more wax and honey than they know what to do with.”

“Am I a hindrance?” William asked as they followed her up.

“Not tonight,” James assured. “I’ll probably be working for much of tomorrow, however.”

Jane asked from the landing, “Is Lady Georgiana really coming? How exciting!”

“She is persistently asking me to let her travel more—”

James’ startled when Kitty rushed out of her room the moment they were on the landing. William caught his waist. “Did you say Lady Georgiana’s coming?”

A loud exhalation was James’s answer as he gripped William’s hands. “Yes, an expedited letter will be on its way to her with the morning post.”

She gaped at him and then vanished inside her room. James sighed again, “If I make it that long.”

He was grateful for William’s tight grasp pulling him away from the stairs while Mary more calmly exited her room further down the hall with a deck of cards in her hands. “Are we playing tonight?”

Jane looked back at him. “I don’t see why not.”

He waved them into his and Jane’s room, where they began lighting various candles about the room. Tapers crowned candelabra at mismatched lengths, and James moved glass chimneys over tea lights to better distribution their glow. Mary shuffled the cards while Kitty arrived with the fluffy Darcy. To James’ relief, nobody raised a complaint at the five of them fitting on the bed: the three ladies on the pillows and the gentlemen at the foot. 

Rain pelted the window and thunder rumbled overhead while Mary won most of the games. Eventually the cards were piled and Jane went to Kitty’s room for the night. “Behave,” she warned in the corridor with a touch of mirth.

“I’m not—with him—in our room!” he fumbled.

She giggled and left his scarlet cheeks to fume. William was pinching wicks until he came to the last candelabrum. “The storm is passing. Are you all right?”

James heaved the sash up and the room rushed with the noise of the rain. “Just…hot.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No?”

William smiled. “Sound travels remarkably well in this house. I understand if my being here is a problem.”

“You’re not a problem,” he retorted, and in a lower tone, “I can control myself.”

William leaned against the wall, sending his smirk outside with the storm. “Netherfield mutes sounds. Pemberley even more so.”

James swayed so his shoulder rolled against the wall. “Trying to lock me away in your tower?”

“I would never. But with so many unoccupied rooms…and antechambers in between them anyway…”

“Are you boasting?”

“Of what?”

James could not keep the grin from consuming his face. He looked at the rain as if it might know William’s devious plans. “I’m not sure anymore.”

“You’ve lost me.”

James peered at him. “Boasting of your house or its sound deafening walls…assuming you’ll be needing them at all.”

He expected William’s smirk. Instead soft eyes gazed evenly back at him, parted lips slowly closing. James shifted restlessly. “I didn’t expect to be the one blushing.” Then he realized, “You do…know…how—”

“I know.”

James was not sure what to say. “You’re rather calm about it.”

“Should I not be?”

James gaped for a time. “I mean—no, I suppose not, since we’ve both…”

“I didn’t say that.”

He felt as if his lungs were unable to expand properly. Despite the rain’s noise, James felt the air was quiet around him. “This doesn’t pose me in the most favourable light.”

“Don’t assume that.”

“Well it is strange for me to be the one blushing—”

“Lizzy,” William hushed. Closing the distance between them, he cradled James’ face. “It is possible for me to be eager and calm simultaneously. You should know by now that I am not good at expressing myself when…I feel so much.”

James’ hands found his wrists, the bells of his forearms. “Then you don’t mind…?”

“I’ve said it already. You told me your circumstances long ago. Of course I don’t mind.”

James felt thumb pads stroke the edges of his cheekbones and trace his ears as William kissed him. Long and slow, their lips moved against each other, and James felt a thrill spiral through him when his lower lip was sucked between William’s.

They parted with a soft, wet sound. William did not release him. James swallowed and tried to say, “I told her I wouldn’t do anything.”

“You’re not.”

William kissed him some more, a great deal more. And when they moved to the bed, he kissed him again.